My mother is 85 and is still very active. Of course her activity is relative to her age but she still enjoys going to the store and church on Sunday. We switched churches recently, mainly due to an issue I had with the new preacher. His sermons sounded like Fox’s news, I want a sermon that I could at least be recognized as the “Good News”. So one day, after going to our new church, I decided that my mother needed even more excitement so I took her out to eat. Most times mom doesn’t want to go; she has a lot of allergies so she plays it safe. Most people eat out without any reservations but if you have allergies it’s kind of problematic. I’ve inherited some of these allergies too, not the same ones though. Besides being allergic to poison ivy and having reactions to perfumes I seem to have a sensitive stomach. Mom has environmental allergies and is also allergic to food preservatives so we both have to watch what we eat. It’s nothing major but it can be inconvenient.
I thought she would say no but I was persistent - how about a roast beef sandwich mom and she agreed. Most fast food is burgers and mom doesn’t share my love for pasta so this was a last resort. She does like tacos but I have to eat like 10 of those to even feel like I ate. Not to mention that I like roast beef, it’s like a healthy burger. So we went to Arby’s and after a few questions to momma I figured out what she wanted. I ordered for both of us - nothing hard, they even had non sweet tea that allowed her to use sugar instead of an artificial sweetener. They bother her stomach. Mom seemed to enjoy our lunch at Arby’s after church. From her reaction she liked it just as much as church functions and going to the store. She enjoys small talk with people and telling stories of when she worked at Stone and Thomas Department store, stories of her family history, and stories of how to eat healthy. As a result, there were more trips to Arby’s after church and one day she noticed that they had onion rings. I always order so I began with the usual, all from the dollar menu that isn’t a dollar any more but now a dollar nineteen. She stopped me on the curly fries and asked the gentleman taking our order about the onion rings; he quickly changed the order and gave her onion rings.
I didn’t know how special that moment was or I would have savored it more. I would have defiantly asked a few more questions. Mom has good days and bad days and one Sunday when she felt bad I thought I’d try and cheer her up with her favorite Arby’s meal – a junior roast beef, value fry and a value drink. Total cost about three dollars and fifty seven cents without tax. I pulled into the drive through and ordered and remembered that she liked onion rings so I requested that the value fries be substituted with onion rings. As I say the order pop up on the drive-in screen it came to over five dollars, the culprit was the onions rings. I thought it a little high for onion rings, they were good and all but mom never ate all the full order and my stomach can’t handle onion rings. I then asked for a value order ($1.19) of onion rings and it seemed to cause problems. I was told a full order or nothing – I thought this was absurd. You can’t put a couple of onion rings in a small value fry package?
Little did I know this was a big issue? If I knew how big I would have just got curly fries and saved myself a lot of frustration. I just drove away – I couldn’t stand the stupidity of what I was being told. We may be fast food but we don’t care about service. Yes, we have onion rings but you can only have what we want to give you. Yes I’m too stupid to adjust to the situation, I must follow orders and only give you want my mega cooperation can package and advertise. Wow – I wasn’t happy. I knew Mom liked Toco Bell toco’s so I decided to stop there and give it a try. They don’t have unsweetened tea but I thought I’d try any way. Not very many places serve tea without giving you the option of unsweetened. Not Toco Bell; no unsweetened tea. Wow, Mom’s running out of options or was it really me – I then stopped at Hardy’s. Not sure their big portions of fast food would work but I was determined. I just finally got mom the turkey burger meal with unsweetened tea and substituted the fries with onion rings. I had to pay more for onion rings but it didn’t matter now, I just wanted to get mom something to eat. I’m still not sure why onion rings are so damn special or why they can’t be directly substituted with fries. I should’ve asked more questions but I was beat.
I may have not won the battle but I thought I would try getting mom another Arby’s meal – with onion rings. She still didn’t feel well so I thought I’d swing by after church to get her a junior roast beef, unsweetened tea and the dreaded onion rings. Maybe I could try a different approach; maybe I should go in and explain myself more; so I did. A young man was there, a nice kid so maybe there’s a chance. I explained what I wanted to order and gave him a very clear description. A couple of onion rings in the same container as a value fry for the same value price. I was trying to make it easier for the young man to focus on service but he was not comfortable with that. He turned to the manager behind the counter, asked if he could substitute a value fry with onion rings. She said no, too obvious for her, a value fry cost a dollar nineteen cents and onion rings cost a dollar ninety nine. It just wasn’t going to happen – I left. Walked out the door and wondered how to proceed now. Was the mission really over?
There is a small non-chain restaurant that began business close to our university. I use to stop there in the morning and buy an egg sandwich with extras – it cost more than fast food but it was good, so good that my son and I went there sometimes after church too. It wasn’t cheep but there was a very experienced waitress there who I liked that kept my coffee cup full all the time. She would brag about how long she had been waitressing and she knew how it was done. I thought she may be able to help me so I drove there. When I walked in I was disappointed, she wasn’t there but I thought I would try anyway. I asked if they had a roast beef sandwich, unsweetened tea and onion rings. I was in luck; they all were on the menu. I looked at the prices and I knew they liked big serving because that’s why I went there. But could they do something a little smaller? I asked for just some plain roast beef on a regular hamburger bun, didn’t faze her. Looking good, now for the onion rings – can I have just a few onion rings. Not the two dollar order that’s on your menu just a dollar’s worth. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing – NO, we can’t split an order of onion rings.
I walked out. I didn’t even try to get momma a makeup meal. What the hell is it with onion rings that make them so damn special? I can’t even eat them but they must be good. A little bit of roast beef can be put on a bun but onion rings can’t be split – what the hell? I was beat. I wasn’t even going to try any more. If I had some money to lose I’d invest it in a damn onion ring company – there so special. I thought that was the end but momma got over her sinus infection so after church I asked her if she wanted to go out to eat. She asked me if I did and I already felt a little aggravated. I responded, I didn’t ask myself I asked you if you wanted too. It didn’t faze momma, she said yes so we went to Arby’s. In the car I asked her if she wanted onion rings. She thought about it for a minute and said no, she wanted fries. THANK GOD. I can handle that. As we entered that same nice young man was there who had asked his manager if he could give me good service. No problem this time – just curly fries. I paid and then afterwards he asked me my name. So why in the hell does this guy want to know my name, does he want to give me good service. So I asked him, WHY? This didn’t cause him a problem this time, he knew the answer - It’s the name we put on your order and he then showed me my receipt with my name on it. Wow – now that’s impressive, personalized service.
